How to set up your child’s first phone

Getting that first phone is a major milestone, a modern-day first-bike moment that brings freedom, responsibility and a new way to connect. For parents, it also raises real questions, such as how do you keep them safe without hovering and how do you teach healthy habits before the phone takes over?

This guide walks you through a practical, calm setup you can do in under an hour, with “safe defaults” you can loosen over time.

Is my child ready for a first phone?

Age matters less than skills. The simplest way to decide is to check maturity, responsibility and whether a phone genuinely helps your family right now as per the American Academy of Paediatrics.

A quick “ready check” you can do at home is to make sure that your child:

• Follows routines and household rules most of the time without constant reminders (homework, chores and a bedtime routine).
• Handles small responsibilities such as remembering keys, charging a device and bringing it home.
• Tells you when something feels off like uncomfortable messages, scary videos or peer pressure.
• Has basic safety judgment, especially not sharing personal information with strangers.
• Can handle disappointment without spiralling, particularly around limits on apps, time and purchases.

An AAP survey highlighted that many teens/young adults recommend first phones around 12–13 when it becomes useful for independence (AAP), but that doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone, just that you’re not alone if you’re weighing it around those years.

What should the first phone be for?

Before you touch a single setting, decide the purpose. This one decision makes setup 10× easier because you’re configuring the phone to match your goal.

Common first phone purposes:

• Coordination: pickups, after-school changes, group projects.
• Safety: walking home, commuting, moving between homes.
• Social connection: friends and class communication with boundaries.
• Independence practice: learning responsibility in small steps.

If the purpose is mostly coordination and safety, you can keep the setup very simple and gradually expand.

Smartphone vs basic phone: what should you choose?

Sure, a smartphone is powerful, but power is exactly why it needs guardrails. A basic phone for just calls and SMS can be great if you want communication without apps. On the other hand, you can give your child a smartphone with tight controls, which may make sense if school logistics or family life genuinely needs apps like maps, messaging and bus passes. Another option is an older-model smartphone, which still offers the functionality they need. A kid-focused wearable, like a smartwatch for communication, can also be a useful stepping stone if the main need is reachability rather than apps.

What plan features matter for a child?

Plans matter because they can either reinforce boundaries or quietly undermine them. It’s important to choose options that offer cost control, avoiding bill shocks and keeping spending predictable. Look for data caps or approval requirements so extra data or top-ups can’t be added without permission. Family management tools also help manage usage without constant arguments. Finally, spam and scam blocking features are essential, especially for protection against SMS scams and phishing.

Our Junior Play plan is designed for children aged 6–15 and combines a generous data allowance, 10GB per month or 12GB per month when part of a Home Pack Community, with unlimited calls and texts to key contacts, so staying in touch is simple and predictable. In addition, it features built-in network-level protection via Secure Net, which works quietly in the background to block inappropriate content, scams and malware, with no complicated setup. The plan also offers clear cost control, no bill shocks and the option to spread the cost of a child-friendly smartphone with 0% interest Easy Buy. Take a closer look at our Junior Play Plan.

Day-one setup checklist: 10 steps to do in the first hour

Step 1: Create a child account (don’t just reuse yours)

• iPhone: create an Apple ID for your child using Family Sharing (this enables Ask to Buy and Screen Time). Use your email/number as the recovery contact if possible and store recovery info somewhere safe.
• Android: create a Google Account for your child and manage it with Google Family Link. Next, link the child account to your parent account. Turn on app approval and content filters right away.

Why this matters? If you set the phone up with an adult account “just to get going,” you can accidentally disable key supervision tools or make it harder to apply age-appropriate restrictions later.

Step 2: Set a Screen Time / Family Link passcode that your child doesn’t know

Use a code they can’t guess (not a birthday, not “0000”). This prevents the classic “I changed the settings by accident.”

Step 3: Turn on content restrictions (apps, web, media)

• iPhone: Screen Time → Content & Privacy Restrictions → set app/content ratings and web limits.
• Android: use Family Link content controls + device settings (exact menus vary by device).

For example, if your child is 11, you might set app ratings to age-appropriate, web to limit adult sites and app installs to require parent approval.

Step 4: Lock down purchases

Your child wants a game that’s free, but it’s full of €1.99 gems. Approval settings prevent surprise spending and prompt a quick conversation about what the app actually does.

Here’s what to do:

• Turn on “Ask to Buy” / purchase approvals (Apple Family Sharing) to prevent accidental in-app purchases.
• In Google Family Link, require approval for downloads and purchases.

Step 5: Configure downtime

There isn’t one magic number of safe screen-time hours for everyone since routines and boundaries matter more than chasing a perfect limit. A simple starter schedule could be school nights 20:30–07:00, weekends 21:30–08:00. To set this downtime on iPhone head to Screen Time → Downtime schedules. For Android, Family Link supports daily limits and bedtime schedules.

Step 6: Set app limits (keep essentials flexible, entertainment bounded)

• iPhone: App Limits via Screen Time.
• Android: Digital Wellbeing app timers + Family Link limits.

A sensible starting approach

• Messaging / calls: no limit
• YouTube / streaming: 30–60 mins/day (depending on age)
• Games: 30–45 mins/day on school days, more on weekends

If your child uses educational apps, treat them differently than entertainment.

Step 7: Enable location sharing

Use it like a seatbelt – quiet, normal, not a daily interrogation and if your child resists, explain it’s for logistics and safety, not spying.

• On iPhone, “Find My” within Family Sharing is commonly used for this.
• On Android, Family Link offers location features (availability can vary by device/region).

Step 8: Do a 5-minute privacy sweep together

Make this a shared habit. Turn off unnecessary location access per app, disable ad personalisation where possible and review camera/mic permissions, since many apps don’t need them. This takes minutes and pays off long-term.

Step 9: Add emergency info and test the basics

Before they take it out solo, set them up for real-life moments:

• Add emergency contacts and medical info.
• Teach them how to call you fast (speed dial/favourites).
• Do a quick test – call, text, data connection, location sharing and charging routine.

10. Create a simple “First Phone Agreement”

This prevents conflict later by making expectations predictable. Keep it short, specific and co-created so your child feels like a partner, not a subject under surveillance.

Here’s a starter you can adapt:

1. Phone sleeps outside the bedroom at night. The device charges in the kitchen/living room.
2. No phones during meals, unless we’re traveling or coordinating something.
3. New apps need approval.
4. If someone messages something scary, rude or sexual, you tell a parent and there will be no trouble for reporting.
5. Real names, school and address stay private online.
6. If rules are broken, first step is a conversation, then limits (time/app/device) if needed.

You can even make the consequence predictable:

• 1st time: warning + reset the rule
• 2nd time: lose the app for 48 hours
• 3rd time: phone becomes “calls/texts only” for a week

Should you allow social media yet?

This is where families often feel pressure. Even if your child is asking already, base your decision on minimum age rules and your child’s readiness. For instance, Ofcom’s 2025 children’s media literacy report notes that many parents are aware of minimum age requirements, yet a sizeable share would still allow profiles earlier. On the other hand, Pew Research tracks teen platform use patterns and shows that social media is a major part of teen life (and it shifts over time), which is why families benefit from ongoing check-ins rather than one-time rules.

A practical middle ground is starting with messaging and calls, then adding one platform later with privacy settings locked down and regular check-ins. As always, keep accounts private, limit DMs (direct messaging) and disable unknown contact requests where possible.

Teach 4 digital skills that matter more than restrictions

If restrictions are guardrails, skills are the steering wheel. Cover these four lessons early:

1. Scams and strangers: no clicking unknown links and no sharing personal info. If unsure, ask.
2. Photos and pressure: never send photos they wouldn’t want a teacher/grandparent to see. If someone pressures them, screenshot, block and tell you.
3. Screenshots and permanence: even disappearing messages can be saved. “Delete” isn’t magic.
4. How to ask for help: promise that telling you won’t automatically equal punishment.

A child’s first phone isn’t a single decision, it’s a small system you build and maintain. Your setup does most of the heavy lifting with the right accounts, sensible limits, privacy protection and routines that make life smoother rather than tense.

In need of more tips? Read through these smartphone dos and don’ts and here as some ideas on how you can set screen limits. And don’t forget about the importance of protecting your child’s digital identity.

FAQs

1) What’s the “right” age for a first phone?

There isn’t one. Many families land around age 11, but readiness and need matter more than birthdays.

2) Should I start with a smartphone or a basic phone?

If your main goal is safety and coordination, a basic phone or a tightly controlled smartphone can work well.

3) Is it okay to track my child’s location?

It can be, if you’re transparent. Consider turning it off during certain activities to build trust as they mature.

4) How strict should screen time limits be?

Strict enough to protect sleep, school focus, and family time—flexible enough to allow fun and social connection. The AAP recommends a family media plan with clear routines and boundaries.

5) My child says “everyone has social media.” Is that true?

Not everyone, but many teens do use major platforms and trends shift. That’s why staged access and ongoing conversations work better than one-time bans or one-time approvals.

6) What are the first three settings I should turn on?

• App download approval (Ask to Buy / Family Link approvals)
• Bedtime/downtime limits
• Content restrictions (web filtering + explicit content blocks)

7) What if I mess something up in setup?

You can change almost everything later. The key is to start with safe defaults – fewer apps, stronger limits, and clear rules, then loosen over time.

Sources:
Appropriate age to introduce a mobile device
Children and Parents: Media use and attitude report
Teens, social media and technology